Pert Muffin Loaf and Breast Fog
by Toxic-Yellow
Summary: Diasuke has been watching Shinya for almost a year, too afraid to approach him. But what happens when Toshiya's car with Shinya in it breaks down right in front of Die's apartment complex? Will it be love at first sight for Shinya? Or will Die have to wor


**Pert Muffin Loaf and Breast Fog**

**Rating**: NC-17 (all of our RPs end up with sex...x.x)

**Genre**:Fluffy ass secks AU

**Pairing**: DiexShinya

**Chapter**: XD We don't know what we're doing.

Daisuke Andou sighed as he flipped the light switch to Paradise Bar and Grill. Women got in free on Sundays. And got drunk off their asses, causing numerous fights between equally drunk men. Which always lead to broken tables and smashed in windows. And, of course, Sunday night would be Daisuke's closing night. He locked the shattered door (which didn't make much of a difference considering there was no longer a window in it) and wandered down the side walk, trying to stop a cab.

Toshiya had just told a very lame joke, which just made the skinny blonde in the passenger seat look at him weird. Toshiya sighed. "No one seems to get that one.." he said. Shinya grinned and looked out the window again. "Totchi? Isn't he one of your friends?" he asked, pointing out the window. "HEY! Yeah!" Toshiya pulled over next to the red head. "Need a ride?"

Die looked in through the window. "Toshiya?" He looked up and down the street. "Hell yes." He opened the door in the back and jumped in. They sat looking at each for a moment. "Um... Are we waiting on the world to turn a bit before we take off?"

Toshiya stuck his tongue out at Die and pulled away from the red head's place of employment. "So...ya gonna introduce yourself, Shin?" he asked the sulking blonde. Shinya nodded. "I'm...Shinya Terachi.."

The red head smiled. "Yeah. I know." He paused a second, mentally slapping himself. "Let's just tell the world you've been watching him for the past year..." He said inwardly, in a sarcastic tone. "I'm Daisuke Andou."

Shinya tilted his head to one side, looking at Die strangely, but he didn't say anything. He just nodded and turned his attention back to the road..in which Toshiya was doing a great job of ignorning.

Die grabbed his chest in the region his heart was located, in utter horror. "OH MY GOD! I THINK WE JUST RAN OVER A COW!"

Shinya jumped and stared at Die in horror. Toshiya laughed. "Free hamburger, anyone?" Shinya also looked at his friend strangely and had the urge to do a James Bond out of the car..away from these crazy people.

"Hey... Toshiya... Um... Drop me off at the nearest bar. I have a feeling only alcohal can cure this feeling of needing the pour my guts on to your perfectly vacuumed floor board..." Die mumbled, clutching his abdomen.

Toshiya rolled his eyes. "You're too young to drink, asshole." Shinya leaned his head against the window, about to fall asleep.

Die smiled slightly. "Yeah. But the bouncer doesn't know that." He also leaned his head against the window, to get a closer look at Shinya. He sighed to himself. "Oh... my... God!" He screamed inwardly.

A moment later, Shinya was snoring softly, his breath making moisture on the window. He looked peaceful. Toshiya supressed the urge to poke him in the knee. He was afraid he would cause the skinny kid to have a heart attack.

Whimpering slightly, Die stated, "And this would be my apartment complex." As Toshiya pulled over, Die hopped out of the now open door. "Well... bye..." He said, sneaking one last peek at Shinya.

Toshiya waved, then glanced at his gas meter. "SHIT!" He yelled, waking Shinya up.

Die starred at the stalled car. He rapped on the window where Shinya's breath fog still lingered. As the window slowly rolled down, he tilted his head to see farther inside. " Is anything wrong Toshiya?"

Toshiya nodded. "I'm out of gas.." Shinya sighed. "I guess I'm walking home from here, then?" he said, gathering his backpack and books in his hands.

"Wait!" Die half yelled. He almost felt out of breath. "I-I..." He studdered. "I could walk you home... You know... there are rapists everywhere... and.. and... cats... and they could ruin your beaut-um... they could scratch you up a bunch. And you wouldn't want to go to school looking like you walked home alone and were attacked by a raging rapist cat..." He started opening the car door for Shinya.

Shinya blinked. "Raging...rapist...cat?" he asked, trying to absorb all that Die had rambled. "But...uh..I live half-way across town.." Toshiya chimed in. "I know! Let's spend the night with Die!" he squealed, clapping.

Die's mouth stood agape. "But... my apartment is a wreck... and... and the bed isn't made and... "He quickly looked at Shinya, then back at Toshiya. "Okay. Sounds fine to me."

Shinya shrugged and waited until Die unlocked his apartment and stepped in. Toshiya immidiately flew onto the couch. "I GOT DIBBS!" he said, grinning.

Die bit his lip. "That's fine with me..." He said, to himself for the most part. He looked towards Shinya. "I'll sleep on the floor if you want... and you can have my bed..." He looked at the ground, pointing to his bedroom.

Shinya shook his head. "I-I don't take up much room...I'll sleep at the foot if you want..." Shinya said awkwardly.

Slowly, Die's eyes widened. A million different scenes played in his head as he just stared at Shinya. "Um... I mean... Well... It's really big... The bed I mean! So... you can sleep at the head, too. It wouldn't be, like..." His voice caught and he coughed slighly. "Gay or anything."

Shinya smiled a little. "I know. And that's fine..." he glanced at Toshiya, who was already asleep.

"Um..." Die looked around, unable to think of anything to say or do. He headed towards the kitchen. "Want some ice cream? I have... bananas. Ya'know... as in banana splits... With chocolate... and... ice cream...?" He rambled on, his palms beginning to sweat.

Shinya smiled at the fact that Die was as nervous as he was. He put a hand on Die's forearm. "Relax."

Die had to hold in a gasp. He jumped at his touch and slowly, started to relax. He nodded, blushing a bit. "Yeah..."

Shinya smiled and grazed Die's skin with his thumb. "Being tense all the time is bad for your health.."

Die opened his mouth. "I-I..." He sighed. "Shinya?" He looked over at Toshiya. "I want to..." He looked down and blushed.

Shinya tilted his head. "What, Die? What do you want?"

"I want to..." He stepped foreward. "I want to..." He leaned in closer to Shinya. Slowly, he pressed his lips against Shinya's. He pulled back after a second, his eyes wide. "I am so sorry... If you want to wake Toshiya up and have him sleep in there, Oh, my God, I understand!" His blush grew heavy.

Shinya was completely caught off guard and just stared at Die for a moment.

Die closed his eyes and pushed past Shinya to the bathroom. He shut the door slightly behind him. "Oh my God... Oh my God..."

Shinya knocked lightly on the door. "Di-Die? Can I come in..?" he asked softly.

The door opened, Die standing behind it. "Don't you just hate me...?" He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm really sorry, Shinya-ku-chan..." He looked down.

Shinya wrapped his arms around Die's waist. "No, Die...I don't hate you.."

His eyes widened. "Really? Because... if I were you and you were me and I had just met you and you had just kissed me, I think I may be a little weirded out... But.." He blushes. "I could never be as sexy as you. So nevermind."

Shinya giggled. "You already are!" he tightened his grip on the older man's waist. Then, he remembered Toshiya was in the other room, and turned crimson.

Die laughed. "Yes. I'm also very much straight." He shook his head. "Both... slightly untrue."

Shinya smiled. "And until now, I had no idea I could turn straight men gay..."

Looking towards the ajarred door, Die bit his lip. "Up until I first saw you... I had no clue anyone could turn me gay..."

Shinya smiled. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Maybe." He looked down where Shinya's hands were still planted on his waist. "Unless you..." He looked up at Shinya. "Are, too."

Shinya thought for a moment. "Well...I guess I am now..."

"Now..?" Die smiled slightly. "Why now?"

"You."

Die slowly leaned in to kiss Shinya. "You have no clue... how long... I've been waiting to hear that..."

Shinya kissed him back shyly. "How long..?" he asked, smiling.

Die blushed. "Let's see... I first saw you... Last year. I believe you were dropping something off at the office... and I was in there... And I saw you... And... that long..."

"Why haven't you talked to me, then?"

"Well... Look at me... and look at you... I figured you'd have a lot of girlfriends..."

"Me? That was my first kiss..." Shinya said, turning a deeper shade of red.

Die's eyes widened. "You aren't serious..." He frowned and looked at the floor. "I'm sorry I stole it, then... But... then again... I'm not so sorry..." He looked up at Shinya. "Because... Wow... You're an amazing kisser."

Shinya hugged Die around the neck. "I'm glad you were my first."

Die smiled and pressed his lips against Shinya's, parting his with his tongue. After a second, he pulled away. "I am, too."

Shinya almost giggled, but stopped himself in time. "Ya know...we're still in the bathroom...and Toshiya is right outside?"

"So..." He pushed opened the door and walked out, grabbing Shinya's hand and pulling him into his bedroom where clothes are strung everywhere and the bed is unmade. "He's still right outside..."

"True..." Shinya said, sitting on Die's bed. "He's a heavy sleeper so don't worry."

"Yeah... I'm aware... We were out one night and a dog was humping the fuck out of his leg... and he slept through the whole thing." Die laughed. He sat next to Shinya. "So..."

Shinya laughed a little, covering his mouth with his hand.

Die moved his hand from his mouth. "You shouldn't do that..." He smiled. "You have a beautiful smile."

Shinya smiled again. It wasn't a forced smile, either. He curled his fingers around Die's hand and rubbed the red head's knuckles with his thumb.

Die looked down at their hands, then back up at Shinya. He pushed him back on the bed, straddling him. He leaned down slowly and kissed him, pushing his tongue into his mouth again. With one hand, he started to pull up Shinya's shirt.

Shinya returned the kiss eagerly, licking Die's bottom lip, waiting to be allowed passage into his mouth. He put one hand between Die's shoulder blades, squeezing ever-so-slightly.

"God... I want you..." He sighed as he pulled away. His hair fell into his eyes ((A/N: zOMG! SEXXXXXXXXXXXY!)) He pulled Shinya's shirt over his head.

Shinya also pulled Die's shirt off and threw it in some forgotten corner of the room. He wanted to feel Die's soft skin against his..he wanted to feel his warmth.

Die sat up and looked at Shinya. "You're... so... beautiful..." He said in awe. "I think I love you." He laughed slightly, trying to play it off like he didn't actually mean it. "BUT OH GOD I KNOW I DO!" He screamed at himself inwardly.

With one hand, Shinya traced Die's cheekbone, using only the tips of his fingers. "I know I love you..." he said softly.

Die's eyes widened. "You don't even know me."

"I know...but it feels like I do...like...I've known you my whole life..."

Trying to stop himself from squealing and jumping around the room like a mad man, Die licked Shinya's chest. "Wow." He chuckled, more so to himself. "You taste as good as you look."

Shinya opened his mouth in a silent moan and arched his back.

Holding back laughter now, Die leaned down and nibbled Shinya's **_pert nipple_**.

Shinya bit his bottom lip to keep from moaning now. '_Oh god...and Toshiya's in the other room..'_

Die kissed down his abdomin in a trail till he reached the hem of his pants. "Oh, God..." Die rushed back to Shinya's mouth. "God... I really can't get enough of you."

At that exact moment, Toshiya opened the door. He merely gaped. "I'm hurt, Shinya. You ditched me to fuck Die and you didn't even have the decency to tell me!"

Die hurridly jumped off of Shinya. "Wow." He laughed and looked towards Shinya. "Yes, Shinya. You neglected to inform him we were gays and that we were in here ass fucking the shit out of each other." He wagged a finger. "Bad, bad boy..."

Toshiya rolled his eyes. "Oh, yeah. You think I'm blind? I saw you undressing him with your eyes in the car. And Shinya! I saw you staring at Die's no-ass! Baaaad!" Shinya turned maroon and hid his face in Die's back.

Die's eyes widened. "You aren't blind...?" Die tried to look back at Shinya. He mouthed to Toshiya, "Isn't he so cute...?"

Toshiya rolled his eyes. "I told you he was, didn't I? He has a nice ass, too. Show him your ass, Shinya."

"You've... you've seen his ass?" Die's jaw dropped. "Is it really as amazing as it is_ with_ pants on?"

Toshiya gave him an odd look. "I don't know. Ask THAT." he said, pointing to Shinya, who was still hiding.

"Hey, Shinya?" Die said quietly. "How's your ass...?" He bit his lip and rolled his eyes slightly.

Shinya laughed into Die's back a little. Toshiya clapped. "You two are SO CUTE TOGETHER!"

Die smiled. He tickled Shinya's side. "Sweetie... It's safe to come out now... The monsters have all gone..."

Shinya hugged Die from behind. "What if I don't want to?" Toshiya sniggered.

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell..." Die turned on the bed so they were facing each other. "I could force you."

Shinya smirked. "Do it."

Die shrugged. "If you insist." Die grabbed Shinya's sides, tickling him. "My awesome skills of persuasion will get you to come!" He paused. "Out... Come out..."

Shinya doubled over in laughter while trying to fend off Die's attacks. "Fine!" Shinya panted in defeat. "I'll come out!"

Die laughed. He leaned down and kissed Shinya's nose. "Toshiya... Why didn't you introduce us sooner if you have such marvelous 20/20 vision?"

Toshiya rolled his eyes. "I only notice sex. Now don't get too freaky without lube. Might get stuck." Toshiya said on the way out of the room. Shinya shook his head.

"Wow... I'm wiped out..." He yawned, stood ont he bed and fell back.

Shinya layed his head on Die's bare chest. "We should sleep, then..." he closed his eyes.

Die planted a kiss on the top of Shinya's hair. "Gooooood idea. You're very smart..." He nods as his eyes close unwillingly.

Shinya awoke the next morning with a start. He looked around for a clock, but didn't see one until he removed a pair of boxers. It was 12:32pm. He poked Die. "Die! Wake up! We missed school!" Shinya nearly shreiked. He was a straight A student, and hadn't missed a day of school until today.

The pillow seemed to be making noises, seeing as how Die's head was under it. The pillow laughed. "School?" The pillow said mockingly. "You're worried about _that_?" Seemingly, the pillow found his worry about missing school extremely amusing. Die's head suddenly appeared. "Aw... How cute..."

Shinya was almost in a state of panic. "I haven't missed school before...and...and...my teacher! She'll kill me!"

Die looked over at the now uncovered alarm clock. "Well... we could go in late..." He pulled himself up and stepped off of the bed onto the floor, stretching his arms to the ceiling ((A/N: No... They did not reach the ceiling... But he can damn well try, can't he!)).

Shinya tilted his head to one side. "Won't that make people suspicious?"

Die smiled evilly. "Suspicious of...?"

Shinya rolled his eyes. "Knowing those homophobes, they'll probably think we cut school to have wild sex all day and all night.."

Eyes wide, Die's mouth dropped. "I never thought you the type to _care_ what people thought..."

"I don't. I just thought the Captain of the kendo team wouldn't want to be called gay." Shinya shrugged. "I'm called gay on a daily basis.."

"Oh... I..." He looked down. "I honestly don't know if I'd care if other people called me gay..." He looked back up at Shinya. "I'm sorry you have to go through that..."

Shinya smiled. "It's not your fault. My mom won't let me cut my hair."

Die clapped his hands together. "Oh, my God..." He had to stop himself from jumping up and down. "YOU'RE SO KAWAII!" He tried not to laugh. "Mommy's little boy..."

Shinya shook his head. "cause Daddy's never home and Grandma doesn't care.."

"Oh..." Die adverted his eyes. "I'm sorry."

Shinya smiled. "I've gotten used to it. Doesn't bother me as much anymore."

He walked towards his door. "Hey... want some coffee?"

Shinya jumped off the bed and followed Die. "Sure."

Die proceded to put the coffee pods into the coffee machine. "Hm..." He turned towards Shinya. "Are we going to school or not?"

"Your choice. I can copy someone elses notes."

"Whoo! Then..." He twirled around like a little ballerina. "We stay hoooooooome!"

Shinya laughed and _almost_ covered his mouth, but remembered what Die said and let it be.

Die reached into a cabinet and pulled out two mugs. "Want it hot?"

Shinya ALMOST misinterpreted it, but realized it before he opened his mouth. "Um..sure." he turned red.

After pouring the coffe into the mug, Die handed it the Shinya. "Here, sexy."

Shinya took the mug and sat down at the kitchen table. "Thanks..."

"Oh, my god!" Die said as he tried picking up the coffee pot on the glass part. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

Shinya jumped and rushed to Die's side. "What's wrong? Did you get burnt?"

Die pouted and showed Shinya his hand. "Yes..."

Shinya gently pulled Die into the bathroom. He turned the cold water on and put Die's hand under it, rubbing it every few seconds.

"Thanks..." Die said, his face right next to Shinya's. "This shit hurts."

Shinya smiled. "I would assume so. My Mom gets burnt all the time in the kitchen, so I've learned to take care of them."

Die smiled and kissed Shinya's cheek. "You're so adorable."

Shinya smiled. "Am I? Why is this?"

"We'll be here all day if I try explaining this." He pulled his hand out from under the water to examine it.

Shinya giggled. "Oh, that may blister.."

Die whimpered. "See..?" He bit his lip. "Adorable."

Shinya turned around and kissed Die on the lips. "I love you."

"I... love you..." Die laughed. "Would it be too dorky to admit I almost want to cry, now?"

"No, it wouldn't." Shinya answered, laying his head on Die's chest.

Die wrapped his arms around Shinya, lifted him up and sat him on the sink. He put his forehead against Shinya's. "It's amazing... Friday, I was stalking you, dreaming about something like this happening. Then, Boom... It did... The world works in mysterious ways." He nodded.

Shinya layed his head on Die's shoulder. "Well...good for us, hm?"

"Perfect." Die lifted Shinya's head up and kissed him.

Shinya returned the kiss and parted his lips with his tongue.

Die slid his hand down Shinya's side until he came to his hip. Then, he dragged his hand along the curve of his muscle to the hem of his jeans. He undid Shinya's button and started running his hand across his stomach.

Shinya stiffined and hugged Die closer. He nibbled on Die's neck and licked the skin there.

Die gasped. He could feel his manhood stiffening. He hurridly pulled Shinya's pants down farther. "I... want you... so bad..."

Shinya was also becoming increasingly erect, and he knew he couldn't hide the obvious bulge in his pants for long. "Die..." he moaned.


End file.
